Hi Guys! My name is Andreas Oberholzer and I run The Toronto Mens Group (TMG).
The group is a discussion and support group designed for gay men of all ages. It offers men
an opportunity to meet new friends, discuss various life issues and interactions with others, learn
about themselves, relationships and sex. Your participation level is up to you so there’s no need to feel
exposed. Our success is due largely in part to active participation, that is men who show up to
discuss anything and everything. However, active participation in discussion is neither
required nor expected. Some men might attend mainly "just to listen".
We recently celebrated our 200th meeting together!
We have three Rules at TMG
1) CONFIDENTIALITY - What we say and discuss in the group is confidential.
2) SAFE AND NON-JUDGMENTAL - Though people may disagree with your point of view, you are
in an environment where your ideas and thoughts can be openly shared (if you want) for
discussion, and feedback will be addressed solely on the issue of discussion.
3) RESPECT - You can basically say anything you want but do it with respect.
Topics discussed are as varied as the men who are part of the men's group. Discussions may be simple
and fun with loads of laughter or it can be very serious. It all depends on how and where the group wants to
go with any given subject. Typically, there are pre-arranged topics lined up for discussion by the moderator.
However, men are encouraged to bring in news items from the paper or internet, or we discuss
personal experiences
or something heard about on the news or a talk show for example.
Be not afraid of going slowly - be only afraid of standing still...
Our demographics are wide and varied: typically, the age range is late 20's to late 60's, blue and
white collar, professional, students, retired, etc. Some men are still semi-in-the-closet while others
are far out. It's important to understand that even if you are out of the closet and are very comfortable
with being gay, your participation in the TMG is still important - your knowledge and experience in the
gay world is vastly helpful to those who are not out or who are just taking their first steps in
going public with their identity. Many friendships have been made from this group, not
to
mention some longterm partnerships as well. The group is therapeutic, but not
group
therapy. By this, I mean that you will find that just being with other gay
men in Greater Toronto is nice - it is a safe place to meet other guys,
it's local, and offer a nice mid-week break from the "straight life".
TOPICS INCLUDE:
-Why relationships fail
-Fear of getting old
-Be more dynamic & make new friends
-Nobody loves me
-Coming out
-How important is a perfect body?
-Promiscuity
-Where IS the love in the world?
-I can be a fulfilled person on my own!
-Does God really hate / love me?
-Will the straight world ever accept me?
-Living with illness
-Homophobia
-Depression
-Sexual health
-Build a solid Self-esteem
-SOMETHING is missing in my life...
-Change your life & feel GOOD about it
ABOUT ME
"Andreas Oberholzer co-facilitated a similar men's group for 5 years in
the 90ties and did group & couple counselling in South Africa. Currently
he’s facilitating GROUP11 in Toronto and he also works as a crisis counsellor.
Andreas is the author of nine prose books and was a magazine Publisher&Editor
in South Africa, London and Toronto. Andreas left South Africa in 1999
& lived in London (UK) for 3 years before settling in Toronto in 2002.”
One of my objectives with the group is that it’s a “feel good”
group. We concentrate on turning negative stuff into positive ones in
a constructive but informal and often fun way. It’s about the old question:
When a glass is filled half way, do you describe it as half full or half empty?
In our group we’ll go for the half full option!”. Not that there’s not
space for the discussion of negative feelings & experiences in
the group. How can we really experience the positives
if we do not know & explore the negatives?
We have our meetings in a smoke-free and climate controlled
(about 23 Celsius), area.
MORE INFO
There is 2 groups in Toronto. The 1st group meet every Tuesday
from 7–9pm (2 spaces still available) and the 2nd group meets every Wednesday,
7–9pm (3 spaces still available). The groups meet in a relaxed, private, safe
and confidential atmosphere in a nice setting near Church & Wellesley.
There’s a maximum of 13 people in each group - please contact me
as soon as possible to secure your place! There’s a donation
of $10 per person for an evening which also covers cool
drinks, coffee, tea, wine, fruit, veggies and cookies.
These will be served during a 60 minute
social time
after every meeting.
NO need to feel all alone out there...
JOIN
Come and join us on any Tuesday or Wednesday evening - email your
name
and telephone number / email address and some info about yourself
to
me via the block below. Also, where did you hear about
the group?
I shall contact you within a few hours.
THANK YOU! - Andreas